Twas The Night Before A Coastal Christmas

adapted by Lindsey Rinaldi

Twas the night before a coastal Christmas, when all through the coast

Not a creature was stirring, not even a ghost.

The stockings were hung in the palm trees with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of beach balls danced in their heads.

And mamma in her bikini, and I in my Speedo,

Had laid out too long earlier, and were as tan as a guido.

When out on the sand there arose such a clatter,

I ran out on the balcony to see what was the matter.

Away to the beach I flew like a flash,

Tore open the pool gate and heard a big splash.

The moon on the breast of the sugar white sand

Gave the lustre of mid-day to my fresh golden tan.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature yacht, and eight elves on the pier.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

More rapid than pelicans, his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! on Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the dune! To the top of the seawall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As houses that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, fall apart in the sky.

So up to the jetty, the coursers they floated,

With the boat full of toys, and St Nicholas, who was loaded.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard by the pool

The prancing and pawing, one of 'em had drool.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the harbor St Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in boardshorts, from his waist to his knees,

And his clothes were all tarnished with oil from the seas.

A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a beach bum, just opening his Jack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his chest was so hairy!

His cheeks were like roses, he tanned like a fairy!

His long white hair was tied up in a band,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the sand.

The hair of a coconut he held tight in his teeth,

And he wore palm tree leaves on his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round tummy,

And a whole pot of gumbo that sure did look yummy!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old cap'n,

And I laughed when I saw him, and the course he was mappin!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

I thought "I'm not in Memphis no more, I know I'm not dead!"

He spoke not a word, but went straight to the bar,

And filled all of the glasses, then turned up a Mason jar.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the tiki he rose!

He sprang to his boat, to the dolphins gave a whistle,

And away they all swam, their tails gave a wiggle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he boated out of sight,

"Sandy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"